How Much of You Is Actually You?

🔹 The Day I Doubted Myself

Or how a biscuit made me question evolution.

I don’t remember the exact date. But I do remember the biscuit.

It was 11:07 AM. I had already had breakfast, a banana, two eggs, and a strong declaration to stay healthy. And yet, there I was — arm fully stretched, soul half-stretched, reaching for a Bourbon biscuit like I was programmed by a cookie-eating caveman. Which made me pause. Not because of guilt. But because I had told myself not to — just 42 seconds earlier.

I didn’t decide to eat that biscuit. Something else inside me decided and just dragged me along for the ride. I was just a dignified passenger watching my hand betray me.

That’s when it hit me —How much of me is actually me?

🥁 A peek into my life:

I’m a man of many thoughts, a few actions, and 437 half-done life plans. I read about neuroscience at 6 AM, eat murukku at 6:15.I promise discipline and flirt with impulse. I overthink past decisions and still repeat them for sport.

My wife thinks I’m mysterious. My mirror thinks I’m predictable. And honestly, both are right.

🌀 The accidental rabbit hole

That biscuit was not just a biscuit. It was a portal — into my DNA, my subconscious, my grandfather’s habits, the caveman’s cravings, and the mystery of why I still binge-watch old cricket clips at 2 AM when I have a deadline at 7.

So this blog began. With a simple question that refused to shut up: “How much of me is me — and how much of me is borrowed, inherited, programmed, or just copied?”

DNA and the Ghosts of Evolution Past

Why my genes think I still live in a cave.

Somewhere deep inside me, buried beneath the breakfast oats and forgotten passwords, lies the silent code of a creature that once had no WiFi… but knew how to run from a lion, mate by smell, and fight over firewood.

That creature? He still exists. Inside me. Inside you. Inside the aunty who overreacts at wedding buffets.

We like to believe we’re sophisticated — iPhones, LinkedIn profiles, almond milk. But our bodies are still ancient software running on a jungle-era operating system.

🧬 From amoebas to Homo sapiens: a long ride in my genes

Let’s rewind 3.5 billion years. One little blob of life, probably just vibing in a warm pond, decided to divide. And that decision — to multiply — became the start of your entire family tree.

Fast-forward through fish, frogs, furry things, upright apes…and tada — you, sitting in traffic wondering why you checked Instagram for the 19th time today.

But here's the kicker: All those forms of life? You still carry pieces of them. Your heartbeat, your hunger, your fear of public speaking — all tiny souvenirs from evolution’s chaotic trip.

🦎 How much of me is still a lizard in a suit?

Ever felt a sudden jolt when someone called your name loudly?Or felt threatened by a passive-aggressive WhatsApp message?That’s not just anxiety — that’s your reptilian brain firing up.

The amygdala — the part of your brain that panics, snaps, and overreacts — is the same ancient hardware that helped lizards survive by running at the rustle of a leaf.

You might wear formals now, but your brain’s still rocking “Lizard OS 1.0.”

🧠 Evolution’s gift: instincts, fears, cravings

You didn’t choose to fear rejection. You didn’t ask for a craving for sugar, gossip, or validation. They’re just hand-me-downs from your ancestors — who survived by fitting in, finding sugar, and avoiding angry tribesmen with spears.

• Fear kept them safe.

• Cravings kept them fed.

• Social instincts kept them alive.

  
  

And you? You're still playing their survival playlist, even in a world where lions are now logos, and validation comes with a blue tick.

🔹 Cavemen, Ancestors, and My Grandfather’s Tea Habit

Because your genes sip more than just tea.

Every time I crave coffee at 4:00 PM, I wonder —Is it me… or is it that caveman who chewed on wild roots and needed stimulation to stay alert for a tiger ambush?

Or maybe…it’s my grandfather — who didn’t believe in alarm clocks but knew exactly when tea should arrive, along with unsolicited life advice.

Point is —your cravings, your impulses, even your mannerisms — might not be as original as you think.

☕ The caveman inside my coffee cravings

You don’t “need” coffee. You need alertness. And your brain — like a lazy teenager — reaches for the shortcut.

Cavemen needed alertness too. Not for meetings. For not dying.

That instinct still lives on. But now instead of scanning bushes for wild animals, you're scanning your inbox for wild clients. So the brain does what it’s always done: triggers a craving for stimulation. And voila — you sip caffeine and call it productivity.

🧬 Epigenetics and ancestral echo chambers

Now here’s the juicy science bit. Epigenetics is the study of how your environment can turn certain genes “on” or “off”…and those on/off switches can be passed on.

Translation: Your ancestor who starved during a famine? You might carry a genetic switch that hoards calories. Your great-grandfather who lived in silence during war? You might now flinch at confrontation or prefer withdrawal.

You are not just your DNA. You are the mood lighting set up by those who came before you.

🧠 How dad’s temper and grandpa’s silence live in my synapses

Let me introduce you to my family:

• Appa: Calm until he’s not. Then — fire and thunder.

• Thatha: Calm, always. But emotionally... underwater.

  
  

I grew up in a house where the volume button had only two modes: Muted or Maximum.

Now when I’m angry, I clench first, speak later. And when I’m hurt? I go silent, disappear, and stare at the fan like a broken monk.

Are these choices? Partly. But mostly, they’re neurological hand-me-downs. Behaviours that were passed not through bedtime stories…but through body language, survival cues, and subtle synaptic whispers.

So when you overreact, under-respond, or randomly crave fried food, just remember —you might be haunted… not by ghosts… but by genes.

🔹The Newborn – Pure, Blank, and Doomed (Almost)

Because every baby starts as a clean slate… until we graffiti all over it.

There’s a brief, almost mythical moment when a baby enters the world —wide-eyed, clueless, judgment-free, and with absolutely no urge to check WhatsApp. That’s the clean slate moment.

It’s beautiful. It lasts about... 2 days. Before society, family, TV, tone of voice, and the unavoidable auntie feedback system kick in.

Welcome to the world, little one. We’ve been waiting to scribble all over your mind.

📜 That clean slate moment — and how fast we scribble on it

The baby isn’t born with caste, status, fear of failure, or a need to hustle. It doesn’t compare skin tone. It doesn’t hate. It doesn’t look at another baby and think,

“Oh wow, that one already has a bib from a better brand.”

Nope. Babies are fresh software. But we, the seasoned users of life, start installing bugs from day one.

What we say, how we say it, what we fear, who we trust —they absorb everything, not by logic, but by exposure.

🚫 Why babies don’t judge but adults can’t stop

Babies don’t judge — because judgment requires conditioning. They don’t know sarcasm. They don’t know shame. They poop themselves and look at you like you’re the weird one.

But give it a few years —a couple of report cards, comparison charts, a neighbour who got better marks —and now that blank canvas has its first permanent marks.

By adulthood, that pure baby becomes someone who:

• Questions their worth based on salary

• Apologizes for resting

• Feels guilt for doing nothing

That’s not evolution. That’s installation error.

🧠 Mirror neurons and sponge mode

Babies have something called mirror neurons —tiny empathy machines in the brain that help them learn by imitation. They copy expressions, tones, energies.

Your frown becomes their fear. Your sarcasm becomes their sense of humor. Your 2 AM scrolling becomes… well, future therapy.

They’re not just listening. They’re absorbing. Your behavior is not commentary — it’s curriculum.

So the next time you’re around a child —whether it’s yours, your niece, or the random baby in a restaurant who’s creepily staring at you…know this:

You are not watching the next generation. You’re shaping it.

🔹The Subconscious Pond and the Test Tube Trick

Your mind isn’t a switch. It’s a pond full of leftover thoughts. Stir wisely.

You’re not fully in charge of your life. Not because you’re lazy —but because your subconscious is silently running the show…while your conscious brain thinks it’s the CEO. Spoiler: It’s just the marketing guy.

🎙️ Conscious Brain = PR Team

• Says, “Let’s eat clean.”

• Buys quinoa.

• Eats biryani at 11:45 PM.

  
  

🧠 Subconscious Brain = Quiet CEO

• Hates change.

• Loves comfort.

• Runs on childhood fears, repeated habits, and that thing your uncle said in 2003.

  
  

🧪 Change is Titration, Not Transformation

Forget overnight change. You don’t rewrite your mind. You dilute it. Like adding drops into a pond.

• One drop = one new action.

• One journal line.

• One “no” to junk.

• One “yes” to change.

  
  

Do it long enough? Pond shifts. Patterns change. Habits follow.

⚠️ Titration Goes Both Ways

• One gossip = dirtier pond.

• One procrastination = thicker algae.

• One lie to self = mosquito breeding zone.

  
  

Keep repeating it? Your kids swim in it next.

🧬 You Were Given a Pond. Now You’re the Chemist.

You didn’t choose your childhood. You didn’t choose your mental playlist.

But you can choose your next drop. Purify it. Pollute it. Your call.

🧩 Small changes aren’t small. They’re chemical. And they add up.

🔹The Inheritance of Thought and Emotion

What if your anxiety isn’t yours, but your great-grandfather’s leftover thunder?

Before you even said your first word...Before you decided you like filter coffee over green tea...you were already carrying things.

Fears. Beliefs. Patterns.

Not chosen. Not learned. Just transferred — like a mental family WhatsApp group you never asked to be part of.

🧬 What you carry even before you speak

• Your mother’s worry? Maybe in your cortisol levels.

• Your father’s temper? Hiding in your reactions.

• That ancestral fear of scarcity? Explains your emotional panic at empty kitchen shelves.

You didn’t learn all this. Some of it came installed.

📂 Genetic memory vs. Behavioural memory

• Genetic memory: What’s coded in your DNA — trauma, fear responses, temperament.

• Behavioural memory: What you picked up by watching, copying, adapting.

  
  

Sometimes they overlap. Most times, they collaborate silently —and suddenly, you’re reacting to life with emotions that belong to someone three generations older than you.

😨 Why you’re scared of what your grandfather feared

Maybe he feared failure. Or authority. Or rejection. He didn’t write it in a will. He didn’t even say it aloud.

But somehow, you feel it. In hesitation. In people-pleasing. In how you explain yourself too much.

That’s not just psychology. That’s inheritance.

You’re not broken. You’re just operating with old downloads.

And that’s exactly where the next chapter kicks in.

🔹 How to Shift the Default Settings (Just a Little)

Because you can’t throw out the whole system — but you can update the software.

Let’s be honest —You can’t undo 400 years of ancestral habits with a single TED talk.But you can shift. Nudge. Adjust. Evolve.

And yes — that does count.

🧠 Awareness: the first weapon

You can’t fight what you don’t see. But once you spot it — a pattern, a reaction, a trigger — it loses power.

• “Oh, this isn’t my anxiety. It’s my family’s default.”

• “This isn’t weakness. It’s just an old program running.”

  
  

That’s step one. Spot. Name. Pause.

🔁 Repetition and rituals: the test tubes of change

Change isn’t dramatic. It’s boring.

• Journaling daily? Rewires thoughts.

• Saying no to impulse? Strengthens choice muscles.

• Practising gratitude? Confuses your negativity bias (in a good way).

  
  

Do it once? Nothing changes. Do it daily? The pond tilts.

🧘‍♂️ Why meditation, therapy, and journaling actually work

These aren’t just trendy words.

• Meditation builds space between thought and action.

• Therapy gives language to inherited silence.

• Journaling lets the subconscious speak — without filters.

  
  

They’re not self-help. They’re mental plumbing.

You won’t flip your mental system overnight. But you can nudge the defaults just enough…so your child doesn’t inherit the exact same storm.

🔹 Accidents, Events & The Sudden Rewrites

Sometimes the biggest updates come from the system crashing.

You think you know yourself…until something happens.

An accident. A loss. A sudden success. A heartbreak. A miracle.

And just like that, the mental pond we spoke about? It shakes. And the ripples are permanent.

💥 How tragedy, loss, or success can rewrite your story

One serious illness. One breakup. One near-death experience. And suddenly, your brain rewires in places therapy never touched.

These events don’t ask for your permission. They just arrive, rearrange the furniture, and leave you staring at a version of yourself you didn’t know existed.

🌱 Post-traumatic growth: the bright side of breakdowns

Yes, trauma can damage. But sometimes —it also wakes you up.

It strips away nonsense. Sharpens purpose. Rearranges priorities.

You don’t heal by becoming who you were. You grow by becoming someone new — built on the ruins, not in spite of them.

🔁 Why some changes ripple into the next generation

That one accident? Maybe it made your father more protective. Which made you more careful. Which might make your child even more cautious — or rebellious.

One person's shift creates a ripple in the emotional genetics of the entire line. And sometimes… it starts with a fall, not a decision.

So no, life won’t always let you gently titrate your changes. Sometimes it drops an emotional bomb, and what you do after…is what defines the next version of your lineage.

🔹You’re Not Alone: The Animal Kingdom Has Baggage Too

Turns out, even pigeons have issues.

You think humans are complex? Ever watched a bird migrate across continents…without Google Maps, a compass, or even a decent playlist?

How? Because evolution left a map in its blood. Literally.

🦅 How birds migrate with ancestral maps in their heads

Birds don’t learn migration paths in school. They’re born with it.

No trial. No training. Just genetic GPS, passed from generation to generation.

We do the same —but instead of direction, we carry fears, biases, insecurities… and a love for snacks at 11 PM.

🐒 Monkeys, whales, wolves — all learning from the past

• Monkeys have tribal rules passed down without ever being “taught.”

• Whales have regional songs that evolve over generations.

• Wolves pass hunting styles that adapt with each pack.

  
  

What you inherit isn't just physical. It's behavioral history.

Sound familiar?

🧍‍♂️ We’re not special. Just slightly louder.

Humans aren’t a divine exception. We’re just a little more self-aware… and a lot more noisy about it.

We inherit, repeat, react —just like them.

Except we write blogs about it.(Which makes us both insightful… and annoying.)

So the next time you beat yourself up for not being entirely “original”…remember: Neither is a bird, nor a monkey, nor your uncle who still forwards conspiracy theories.

You’re nature’s echo. But maybe… just maybe… you’re also its chance to evolve.

🔹 You Are an Echo with a Voice

You’re not just the product of your past. You’re also the editor of your future.

Let’s get real for a second.

You… yes, you…are version 9,873 of your DNA line.

That means:

• Your ancestors survived floods, famines, kings, colonizers, and cousin marriages.

• One of them dodged a tiger.

• Another dodged a wedding proposal.

• And somehow, all of them made it just right enough to produce you.

  
  

So if you’ve ever felt ordinary — don’t. You’re evolution’s highly edited, slightly confused masterpiece.

⌨️ You’ve inherited a lot. But now? You hold the keyboard.

Sure, your past is coded in your cells. But unlike your great-great-grandfather who had to just accept his fate and a moustache oil sponsorship —you get to question, change, rewire.

You can:

• Interrupt generational habits.

• Heal unspoken traumas.

• Start traditions that feel right, not just inherited.

  
  

You may be made from history…but you’re writing version 9,874 as we speak.

🔁 What you do today does matter to tomorrow’s evolution

Let’s not pretend you’ll erase 400 years of ancestral wiring overnight. But you can:

• Choose curiosity over fear

• Silence over rage

• Boundaries over burnout

• Growth over gossip

  
  

And when you do — even a little —you shift the subconscious pond for those who come after you.

Your kid may not inherit your anger. Your niece may inherit your calm. Your great-grandchild may benefit from the fact that you journaled instead of screamed.

🧬 You are an echo. But you have a voice.

You didn’t choose your starting point. But you do choose your trajectory.

You can whisper back to evolution:

“Thanks for the tools. I’m making a few updates.”

So go on. Be funny. Be flawed. Be free. But be aware that every thought you shape, every habit you drop, every kindness you choose…

...you’re not just healing yourself.

You’re upgrading humanity.

One test tube at a time.

🔜 Next Week on the Blog

“God, Biryani, or Cigarettes?” What’s your emotional support system — and is it saving you or slowly shaping you?

We all lean on something. For some, it’s faith. For others, food, alcohol, a person, or… a habit that quietly hijacks peace.

Your emotional crutch may feel like comfort today —but what if it’s deciding who you become tomorrow?

Next week, we explore:

• Why your emotional support system is not neutral

• How toxic comforts disguise themselves as help

• And what you can build instead — to actually feel safe, not just distracted.

  
  

📅 Stay tuned. This one hits close. And maybe… finally… lets you put down the thing you’ve been holding for far too long.